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The Way I Remember It

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The way I remember it was that I had just got home from hospital on the Thursday and was relaxing by the fire. Come Friday I thought I would inspect the toilet system by sticking my head down the toilet. As I was doing this all my previous meals appeared out of nowhere and went into the toilet. As this took an awful lot out of me I went and lay down on the bed for a while. BIG mistake. No sooner had I got comfortable did I feel the urge to purge all over again. I made it to the toilet just in time. (funny thing is, I don’t remember eating that) This toing and froing went on for a number of hours. At 2.45AM Saturday my wife is getting really worried (bless her) and calls for an ambulance. Then………….

The ambulance arrives and it is decided that I should go with them. Why I don’t know. I don’t even know their names or where they live. Anyway, I am helped down the stairs , in my jammies and slippers and dressing gown, and put into the ambulance. It is after 3.00AM by this time. We arrive at the Ulster Hospital shortly afterwards and I think, for the first time ever in my life, the A&E is virtually empty. Maybe this was my imagination. After all, whoever heard of an empty A&E? Put straight into Resuss ward and there for sure I was the only patient (apart for the old dear in the bed next to me. I start to look around me and I notice my name on the admissions board. I am #1 admission. They must know who I am. Then the fun really begins.

If my memory is anyway correct, I can’t be too certain as I kept blacking out, I saw all these very young children in white coats and blue and green scrubs. Why is everyone so young? Like, have they no homes to go to? Then it dawns on me, these people are the doctors. They are sticking these things into me and I am telling them not to. Or maybe I’m telling them to politely go away. Not sure about that , I will need to check that one out with my wife who by this time is beside me holding a part of my body which feels like my hand. Next thing I am upstairs on the ward. More fun. I think my wife loses it with one of the kids in scrubs because she can’t get the needle in properly. She politely asks the doctor to get someone who can do the job if she can’t. I think I blacked out at this moment(again) Next thing this nice doctor appears and takes control of everything. I can’t remember his name but he reminded me of Dr Kildare. So there we all are up in the ward. Nurses, doctors, Wife and Dr Kildare. After a number of hours have gone by it is decided to move me to the Belfast City Hospital as the Ulster didn’t have the necessary something that was required for me. More fun

Another ambulance ride, with escort, and I arrive at the BCH. The staff are all there awaiting my arrival and as soon as I am on the ward in a private room (note the private, they really know who I am) and they get to work. This is the horrible bit. They need to get lines in so that they can pump stuff into me. I have very poor veins at this stage and they have great difficulty in getting these feckers in. Eventually they are successful and that was that, or so I thought. They need to put a catheter in as well. This is probably the most undignified thing that ever a man could have done to him. By this time I am not really bothered as I am more out of it than in. So, there’s me lying on my hospital bed looking something like Doctor Octopus after doing battle with Spiderman and then I am told I am going to theatre for another procedure. Do I give up now folks or fight on? Neither. I seem to remember looking at everyone and just smiling. Why I don’t know. I have a feeling the drugs were probably responsible.

On the Sunday I had a visit from my family and the Curate from our church. On the Monday I had a visit from my family and the Rector from our church. On the Tuesday I had a visit from my family. On the Tuesday night I got a BIG TIME shock when I got a visit from The Bishop. Now the strange thing about this is, apart from it being such an honour, he had to phone the Rector (who works for the Bishop) and ask for permission to visit me. Now I am not a religious type, but I will support the Church on the Social side of things, but this was very weird indeed. I had a prayer said for me at my bedside by three tiers of the Church and also in the Church itself. Do you think they know who I am or something? The Bishop left me a personal gift of his own. He put it in my hand as I lay there in my bed and he said a prayer for me. He left me holding this thing. It felt really nice holding it and no matter what way I held it there didn’t seem to be any difference . I looked at it and saw that it was an offset cross made from wood. He called it a holding cross. As I have said before I am not a religious type but this object just felt right at the time.

I am now home after more treatment and hospital food. Hopefully that’s me and hospitals finished for the foreseeable future.

Any comments from any of you just click on the title above. New peeps always insulted very gently at first

All the best for now

Posted :: Sunday 2/21/2010 3:55:00 AM

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